The Lord has blessed me with a gift and calling in intercession. Along with this gift, though, comes along many testings and trials that I need to overcome.
I believe (and have seen in my life) that the Lord speaks to His people in dreams, visions, words of knowledge, words of wisdom, etc. Mostly when I pray, I pray because a request has come up, but there are times when the Lord places on my heart these incredible feelings for the person or situation.
Sometimes I’m awakened in the night with a dream or a thought to pray about something.
Other times, the Lord uses my own feelings and such to show me an area to pray for – regarding myself, but also for others.
Last night was one of those circumstances. And it showed me that I need to infuse myself even more with Him so I don’t let those feelings rule my emotions.
I was having a very irritating night. There was a fly in the house that kept biting me, I had to “frog” most of yesterday’s accomplishments on the blanket I’m working on (all because I didn’t wait on the Lord to show me what to do), I was irritated by the speakers at the debate and when I wanted to just go into a room to drown out the noise, THE FLY WAS THERE!!!!
I didn’t handle it all very well and almost drove my poor husband out of the house. Thankfully the Lord has also blessed me with a kind, compassionate, patient husband and he didn’t throw ME out of the house. One day I hope to repay him and be the kind, compassionate patient woman God wants me to be.
Anyway, I sat on the floor and just cried out to the Lord to help me. The feelings that overcame me were so scary! Depression, craziness, and others. Wow. Through all this a name came into my head. I knew I needed to pray for this person. And I did, but because I’ve not been into the Word like I should, because I’ve not been in communication with the Lord like I should, my mind didn’t stay in prayer for this person for long. I kept going back to ME and what my behavior was doing to my family.
Well, the Lord, in His goodness, finally let me stop crying enough to go back to bed and I woke up refreshed and in a normal mood – so much so my husband commented on it.
But it was a stark reminder that I let this intercessory opportunity get the best of me. I let the feelings rule my emotions. I believe that I was feeling what this person that I was praying for was feeling. But had I been more in touch with God during my waking hours, it wouldn’t have affected my emotions like it did.
Now, God doesn’t love me any more or less when I do or don’t take time to read or pray. But my response to circumstances sure is different when I’ve been in the Word, praying and surrounding myself with knowledge of His goodness than if I’m not.